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| カカオ二ブのドーナツ / Cacao Nib Donut |
今日は予定を繰り上げて日曜版を1時間早く公開しています。
日曜日なので、穏やかな内容を書いています。
先日、DEEN & DELUCAに久しぶりに行ったら、スイーツやパン、デリなどがオープンに並べられていたので少し買ってきました。
私の街のDEEN & DELUCAは以前は冷蔵ケースの中にフードが入っていたのですが、オープンに並んでいる方が市場のようで買っていて楽しいです。
ショップ自体はお洒落ショッピングモール内に入っているので、衛生管理等特に気にする必要もありませんし。
叶えなくとも良いぼんやりした夢の一つに、パリやイタリア、イギリス、アメリカの市場に行ってみたいというのがあります。
そこで気になったものを少し買って、魚や肉や野菜を売る人達に「全く話せない外国人」だとすぐ分かって貰った上で、双方共に非日常のオーバーコミュニケーションを選び、笑い合いながら部屋に持って帰って、簡易キッチンで調理して食べる1ヶ月くらいの滞在、という夢があります。
これは安上がりだし安全だし、夜に知らない国を出歩かずに滞在できる上、そこの普段の食と珍しい食をダイレクトに触れる（さわれる）という面白さがあります。
多分コツとしては、普段私達がスーパーでやるように、「何だか知らないけれど慣れている奥さん」か「何故か知らないけれど詳しそうな初老の男性（大体お洒落）」が、きっと注文を無表情で1言2言交わす中に、きっとジョークも入っていて、「（あんた、中々やるじゃねぇか）・・・ところでマーキュリーは元気かい」「まあまあだよ」「そりゃ良かった」と言い合いながら商品とお釣りを受け取っているのをこっそり見ていて、「・・・あの人と同じものを」「（この外国人、目だけは確かだな）、いいよ。10g? 20g?」と買い物をすると、その日の安くて鮮度が良い物を買えるんじゃないでしょうか。
それで帰り際に、非常に腕が逞しくて素敵なニコラス・ケイジ似の人生の機微に詳しそうなご主人に、「またな」と言ってもらい、帰って何かを茹でたりしながら、あの人はまさかニック本人で演技の為に秘密でお店のご主人と交代して貰っていたのかもしれない。と、エナメルは決して海外旅行に行ってはいけないよ。と皆さんからため息混じりに首を横に振られる空想をして、一日が過ぎていきそうで楽しいです。
この後、2週間くらいしてから馴染みのコーヒー・スタンドが出来て、そこでもニコラス・ケイジ似のマスターに、「昔、あんたと同じアジア人が来てたよ」と口の片方だけでふと笑って貰い、「その人とニックはどんな日々だったの？」と聞こうか聞くまいか迷っている時に、オリヴィア・ニュートンジョンそっくりの30代くらいの女性が入ってきて、過去の追憶から醒めた顔でニックがこれからの2人の会話に入っていくのをドリップ・コーヒーを飲みながらポケットの中の財布を探る話になるんですが、旅先で私は異分子になりたいのでしょうね。
その異分子が外からのウイルスとして其処に住み続ける人々にバグを起こし、言語になる前の雰囲気のフィードバックが楽しいのかもしれません。
1人旅を国内だけですが繰り返していた理由は、異分子である事が善い事を静かに起こしてすぐ治まる体感で、コミュニティという場所にうまくフィットしていない自分のメリットを再確認していたのでしょう。
何故私達は、やって来た者としてなら歓迎されるのでしょう。
帰って来た者、送り出す者、ただ居る者としては、デメリットチェックばかりを行い、徐々に澱んでいくだけだと信じられているだけなのに。
やって来た者は、必ず住んでいる者の日常に合わせようとする。
新しい匂いだけを運び込んできて、日常を見出したり変えようとはしない。
なのにクローズなコミュニティである普段の日常は、無関係に居る個人を変えようとするんですよね。
私はインフラ（社会に必要不可欠な構造。電気、ガス、水道、居住環境の清潔と治安の維持）としてのルールは厳格だったけれど、一切個人に立ち入らない環境に居ました。
触れ合いはあったけれど、付き合いは決まっていませんでした。
本当はそんなに人付き合いをしなくて良いのかもしれません。
友人は生涯で1人出来れば運の良い方で、多くの時間を人と付き合う事に使わず、自分の為に使っていれば、やがて数十年経過した時に、ふと人の世が美しく見え、分からなかったことが繋がり、豊かな思考に触れる時間が始まります。
人と付き合っていなければ、人間の幅が狭いままである。とか本当でしょうか？
この年になり「あまり人付き合いが得意じゃなくて」と答えると、多くの人達は好意的なリアクションを返します。
それに対して「いや付き合ったほうが良い。それは間違っている」と、いきなり怒気を見せたり執拗に人付き合いの良さを言い募る人達って、「私が、自分達だけが良いと思っているルールに従わないから」ムキになるんですよね。
これ、恋愛の関係に置き換えると凄く変なことをやっているのが分かるんですが。
「寂しいのが嫌だから一緒に居たい」って、恋愛のパートナーに言うって如何ですか？
私はそんな人とは一緒にいません。
人付き合いも同じなんじゃ無いでしょうか？
滞在しているホテルの窓から見る、知らない街の朝が好きでした。
そこでコーヒーを落とし、チェックアウトの時間を気にしながら、見たことの無いローカル放送の情報が流れる、音を消した画面を見たり、次の移動予定を何となくおさらいしながら、晴れていくビル群を見るのが好きでした。
何故だか痛快な気持ちなっていました。
きっと「本当はこっちが正解」と心で笑っていたからでしょう。
それでは素敵な日曜日をお過ごし下さい。
20251130 12:27 文章を直しました。
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| カカオ二ブのドーナツ / Cacao Nib Donut |
Today we're moving up our schedule and releasing the Sunday edition one hour earlier.
Since it's Sunday, I'm writing something gentle.
The other day, I visited DEEN & DELUCA for the first time in ages. They had sweets, bread, and deli items openly displayed, so I bought a few things.
At my local DEEN & DELUCA, the food used to be kept in refrigerated cases, but having it openly displayed feels more like a market and makes shopping more enjoyable.
The shop itself is located inside a stylish shopping mall, so there's no particular need to worry about hygiene management or anything like that.
One of my vague dreams that doesn't need to come true is to visit markets in Paris, Italy, England, and America.
I'd buy a few things that caught my eye, let the fishmongers, butchers, and greengrocers know right away that I was a “foreigner who couldn't speak a word,” and then we'd both choose to engage in extraordinary, over-the-top communication. We'd laugh together, take the food back to my room, cook it up in a simple kitchen, and eat it. That's the dream of a month-long stay.
It's inexpensive, safe, and allows you to stay put without wandering around an unfamiliar country at night. Plus, there's the fun of directly experiencing both the everyday and unusual foods there.
At my local DEEN & DELUCA, the food used to be kept in refrigerated cases, but having it openly displayed feels more like a market and makes shopping more enjoyable.
The shop itself is located inside a stylish shopping mall, so there's no particular need to worry about hygiene management or anything like that.
One of my vague dreams that doesn't need to come true is to visit markets in Paris, Italy, England, and America.
I'd buy a few things that caught my eye, let the fishmongers, butchers, and greengrocers know right away that I was a “foreigner who couldn't speak a word,” and then we'd both choose to engage in extraordinary, over-the-top communication. We'd laugh together, take the food back to my room, cook it up in a simple kitchen, and eat it. That's the dream of a month-long stay.
It's inexpensive, safe, and allows you to stay put without wandering around an unfamiliar country at night. Plus, there's the fun of directly experiencing both the everyday and unusual foods there.
This is cheap and safe, letting you stay put instead of wandering around an unfamiliar country at night, plus it offers the fun of directly experiencing (touching) both the everyday and unusual foods there.
The trick is probably to do it like we do at the supermarket: a “wife who seems familiar though you don't know why” or a “middle-aged man who somehow seems knowledgeable (usually stylish)” will exchange a word or two expressionlessly when placing an order, likely with a joke thrown in. You'll catch them saying things like, “(You're pretty good at this, huh)... By the way, how's Mercury doing?” “Not bad,” “That's good to hear.” Watching them exchange this while receiving their goods and change, you might think, “...I'll take the same as that person.” “(This foreigner has a good eye), sure. 10g? 20g?” Buying like this, you'll likely get the day's cheapest and freshest items.
Then, on the way out, the owner—a guy with incredibly muscular arms, handsome like Nicolas Cage, and who seemed to understand life's subtleties—would say, “See you later.” I'd go home, boil something, and imagine, “Maybe that guy was actually Nick himself, secretly swapping places with the shop owner for an acting gig.” And then everyone would sigh and shake their heads, saying, “Enamel, you should never go overseas.” I imagine everyone sighing and shaking their heads at this fantasy, and the day passes pleasantly.
About two weeks later, I find a regular coffee stand. There, the Nicolas Cage lookalike master smiles slightly with one side of his mouth and says, “An Asian guy just like you used to come here.” I hesitate, wondering whether to ask, “What were Nick's days like with that person?” Just as I'm debating whether to ask, a woman in her thirties who looks exactly like Olivia Newton-John walks in. Nick snaps out of his memories and joins the conversation between the two of us. Over drip coffee, we end up talking about rummaging through wallets in pockets. I guess I want to be an outsider when I travel.
Perhaps that foreign element, like an external virus, causes glitches in the people who live there permanently, and the feedback of atmosphere before it becomes language is enjoyable.
The reason I kept repeating solo trips, though only within the country, was probably to quietly experience the sensation that being a foreign element quietly causes good things to happen and then quickly subsides, reaffirming the advantage of not fitting neatly into a place called community.
Why is it that we are welcomed only as those who arrive?
Those who return, those who send off, those who simply remain—it's believed we only conduct disadvantage checks and gradually stagnate.
Those who arrive always try to fit into the daily lives of those who live there.
They bring only new scents, neither seeking nor changing the everyday.
Yet the closed community of daily life tries to change the individuals who remain uninvolved.
I lived in an environment where the rules governing infrastructure—essential societal structures like electricity, gas, water, clean living environments, and maintaining public safety—were strict, yet they never intruded on individuals.
If you make just one true friend in your lifetime, you're fortunate. If you spend most of your time not socializing but focusing on yourself, then after decades pass, you might suddenly find the human world beautiful, see connections in things you once didn't understand, and begin a time of rich intellectual engagement.
Is it really true that if you don't socialize, your human perspective stays narrow?
If you make just one true friend in your lifetime, you're fortunate. If you spend most of your time not socializing but focusing on yourself, then after decades pass, you might suddenly find the human world beautiful, see connections in things you once didn't understand, and begin a time of rich intellectual engagement.
Is it really true that if you don't socialize, your human perspective stays narrow?
At my age, when I say, “I'm not really good at socializing,” most people react positively.
But those who suddenly get angry or insistently preach the benefits of socializing, saying, “No, you should socialize. That's wrong,” are just getting worked up because I'm not following the rules they think are best.
If you replace this with a romantic relationship, you can see how absurd it is.
How would you feel if someone told their romantic partner, “I hate being lonely, so I want to be with you”?
I wouldn't stay with someone like that.
Isn't socializing the same?
I loved mornings in unfamiliar cities, seen from my hotel window.
I'd brew coffee, glance at the local news playing on the muted TV while checking my checkout time, and vaguely review my next plans while watching the buildings ahead brighten.
Somehow, it always felt exhilarating.
Probably because deep down, I was laughing, thinking, “This is actually the right way.”
Have a wonderful Sunday.
20251130 12:27 Revised the text.
