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恋の始まりは大体気怠い。
朝、起きて２人のこれからを何処かで考えている。
よくSFの表現で、列車やスピードに例えられているのは瞬間。
けれど、私の場合は恋か愛かを確かめた後に、瞬間でなく時間を思い出す事が多い。
素敵な彼または彼女に、1度で良いから起きたばかりの、まだベッドから立ち上がれない低血圧の私に、「コーヒー何にする？」と訊かれてみたいのだけれど。
そして「・・・・・・、エスプレッソ」と例の楽曲のように答えてみたいのだけれど。
大体はこの人で合ってるんだろうか？ と午前中か午後の一番強い光に魅力が白っちゃけて褪せてしまわないように祈りながら、でも徹底的に冷静に相手をチェックしながら、
シャワーを浴び直したり、メイクをしたり、この後の健康的で穏やかな予定の希望を言い合いながら、その幾つかの内容にガッカリされないように、又はクスッと笑って君ってキュートだね、と思ってもらえるように。
それでいて服はできる限りカジュアルなんだけど元気過ぎないように、大人を効かせて、メーカー1辺倒の全身のっぺりにならないように、朝食は今は絶対に冷蔵庫に入っている物で、軽くて重荷のアピールにならないようにして、カーテンを習慣で開けて、こっちが何も言わないのに、素敵な所だね、とか何とか言わないような人で、いきなりテレビを点けないような人で、午後の後、1度部屋に戻って貰いたいような、そのまま平日の出勤まで1緒にいるか、どっちの方がいいか。
ライトで洒落ててお互い緊張しないように、この人の前のパートナーって何か極上そう、と思わせないように、思わないように。
この頃読んだ本や面白かった映画の話をいきなりしないで、コーヒーマシンの機能について、何か具体的にライフハックな事を言ってくれないかな。
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おしゃべり過ぎる人じゃないと良いな。
もう部屋、片付け始めて良いんだろうか？
早速こっちを色々誘導して、日々の事を押し付ける人じゃないと良いな。
何処かに行くなら改めて計画を立ててくれる人が良いのだし、昨日のデートの話をしつこく如何に素敵な店だったか、とか言わないと良いな。
昔の事なんて詰まんない編集された告白をし始めないで欲しいし、今日の出掛けにドラッグストア前で愕然とするような夫婦不仲とかと出会いませんように。
あと素敵すぎる友人知人先輩後輩居ませんように。
居ても良いから暫くは互いの好みとか、そういう1センチ2センチの細かい、凄まじく重要なことでないことを話しながら、コーヒーにミルク入れる奴どーだとか、いきなりカップ麺が好きとか、熱弁を振るわないで、
きっと今日着ていく服、
「良かったら借りていい？ シェアしない？」
って言ってくれるといいな。
なんてことをそっとオロオロ考えながら、無表情にぽつりぽつり話したり返事したりしながら、 何も知らない時に、私の好きな新宮晋の風で動くオブジェがある公園で、FUNNY GOLDのペイントイベントがあって、もう夕方が夜になりかけで、バスの車内の人々は誰も知らなくて、幾人かのストリートな人達が嬉しそうにちょっと離れて見ていて、描いた人は最終チェックをしていて、その時だけ大音量でFUNNY GOLDが夜の水辺に反射していたことをきっと最初に話すと思う。
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| 書きかけの・・・言葉の岸辺で / 松本隆 / トリュフチョコレート / モロゾフ |
20260108 17:45 文章を直しました。
20260119 00:49 文章を直しました。
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The beginning of love is usually languid.
Waking up in the morning, I find myself somewhere thinking about our future together.
It's often described in sci-fi terms, likened to a train or speed—a moment.
But in my case, after confirming whether it's love or affection, I often recall time, not a moment.
I wish that wonderful guy or girl would ask me, just once, when I'm still groggy from waking up, too low-blood-pressure to get out of bed yet, “What kind of coffee would you like?”
And I'd like to answer, “... Espresso,” like that famous song.
Mostly, I wonder if this is the right person? Praying that the charm doesn't fade and wash out in the strongest light of the morning or afternoon, yet thoroughly and coolly checking them out.
Taking another shower, doing my makeup, exchanging hopes for healthy, peaceful plans afterward, trying not to disappoint them with any of those details, or hoping they'll chuckle and think, “You're cute.”
And yet, the clothes are as casual as possible without being too energetic, adding a touch of maturity, avoiding a uniform, bland look from one brand. Breakfast is definitely something already in the fridge, light and not a burden. Opening the curtains out of habit, without me saying anything, saying things like, “This is a lovely place,” or something like that. Someone who doesn't suddenly turn on the TV. Someone I'd want to come back to the room once in the afternoon, or stay together until the weekday commute—which would be better?
Light and stylish, so neither of us feels tense. Someone who doesn't make me think, “This person's previous partner must have been amazing,” or make me feel that way.
Someone who doesn't suddenly start talking about books they've read lately or interesting movies, but instead tells me something specific and practical about the coffee machine's features.
Waking up in the morning, I find myself somewhere thinking about our future together.
It's often described in sci-fi terms, likened to a train or speed—a moment.
But in my case, after confirming whether it's love or affection, I often recall time, not a moment.
I wish that wonderful guy or girl would ask me, just once, when I'm still groggy from waking up, too low-blood-pressure to get out of bed yet, “What kind of coffee would you like?”
And I'd like to answer, “... Espresso,” like that famous song.
Mostly, I wonder if this is the right person? Praying that the charm doesn't fade and wash out in the strongest light of the morning or afternoon, yet thoroughly and coolly checking them out.
Taking another shower, doing my makeup, exchanging hopes for healthy, peaceful plans afterward, trying not to disappoint them with any of those details, or hoping they'll chuckle and think, “You're cute.”
And yet, the clothes are as casual as possible without being too energetic, adding a touch of maturity, avoiding a uniform, bland look from one brand. Breakfast is definitely something already in the fridge, light and not a burden. Opening the curtains out of habit, without me saying anything, saying things like, “This is a lovely place,” or something like that. Someone who doesn't suddenly turn on the TV. Someone I'd want to come back to the room once in the afternoon, or stay together until the weekday commute—which would be better?
Light and stylish, so neither of us feels tense. Someone who doesn't make me think, “This person's previous partner must have been amazing,” or make me feel that way.
Someone who doesn't suddenly start talking about books they've read lately or interesting movies, but instead tells me something specific and practical about the coffee machine's features.
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I hope they're not the overly chatty type.
Is it okay to start cleaning the room already?
I hope they're not the type to immediately start directing me around and dumping daily chores on me.
I'd prefer someone who makes plans anew if we go somewhere, and I hope they don't go on and on about yesterday's date, like how wonderful the restaurant was.
Please don't start with boring, edited confessions about the past, and please don't let us run into some horribly dysfunctional couple outside the drugstore on our way out today.
And please, no overwhelmingly perfect friends, acquaintances, seniors, or juniors.
It's fine if they exist, but for now, let's just chat about our preferences and those tiny, one- or two-centimeter details—things that aren't incredibly important. Let's not suddenly rant about how someone puts milk in their coffee or suddenly declares they love cup noodles.
I hope they'll say something like,
“If you don't mind, can I borrow this? Want to share?”
about the clothes I'm wearing today.
While quietly fretting over such things, I'd speak and respond in a monotone, one word at a time. Back when I knew nothing, at a park with wind-moved objects by Susumu Shingu, whom I love, FUNNY GOLD was holding a paint event, and evening was turning to night. No one on the bus knew about it, but a few street folks stood a little apart, watching happily. The artist was doing a final check, and only then did FUNNY GOLD reflect loudly off the night water. I think that's what I'd talk about first.
Is it okay to start cleaning the room already?
I hope they're not the type to immediately start directing me around and dumping daily chores on me.
I'd prefer someone who makes plans anew if we go somewhere, and I hope they don't go on and on about yesterday's date, like how wonderful the restaurant was.
Please don't start with boring, edited confessions about the past, and please don't let us run into some horribly dysfunctional couple outside the drugstore on our way out today.
And please, no overwhelmingly perfect friends, acquaintances, seniors, or juniors.
It's fine if they exist, but for now, let's just chat about our preferences and those tiny, one- or two-centimeter details—things that aren't incredibly important. Let's not suddenly rant about how someone puts milk in their coffee or suddenly declares they love cup noodles.
I hope they'll say something like,
“If you don't mind, can I borrow this? Want to share?”
about the clothes I'm wearing today.
While quietly fretting over such things, I'd speak and respond in a monotone, one word at a time. Back when I knew nothing, at a park with wind-moved objects by Susumu Shingu, whom I love, FUNNY GOLD was holding a paint event, and evening was turning to night. No one on the bus knew about it, but a few street folks stood a little apart, watching happily. The artist was doing a final check, and only then did FUNNY GOLD reflect loudly off the night water. I think that's what I'd talk about first.
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| On the shore of unfinished words / Takashi Matsumoto / Truffle Chocolate / Morozoff |
20260108 17:45 Revised the text.
20260119 00:49 Revised the text.
