私は何故か、文学の作家さん達はあまり読者の事が好きでは無いのだろうと、長い間考えてきました。
あまり人の来歴とかプライベートの話は興味が無いので、誰か1人の文学者がどうのこうのというきっかけはありません。
ただ、あまり読者のことは好きではないのだろうな。と思って居ました。
きっと気難しいのだし、きっと厳しいのだし、きっと一般社会に居る私達に全く期待して居ないので、偶然言葉を交わすことがあれば、その厳しさを押さえて静かに接するので非常にストレスであろう。
読者のこちらが後で作家の先生の態度や様子を細部まで気にしているのも、知ればそのような軟弱な精神自体が良く無い、から始まり、昨今の教育がと、最終的にもう読者と会話したく無い、と決めているのかもしれない。
もし本当に街でプロの作家に遭遇したら、非常に注意しなければならないと考えて居ました。
ですが、ある夜、あまり知らない人とは話したくない私に、作家は読者をとてもとても大切に思っている。
お買い上げ有難うございます。どころでは無い。
ラブはあげられないけれど、生涯、共に歩み続ける存在になりたいくらい大切に思っている。
だからいつも心配の気持ちでいる。
と教えられました。
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物凄く驚き、余りに驚き過ぎて、一年くらい経過しているのですが、そうなんだそうです。
それ位、私は作家やライター、コラムニストは、読者のことを特になんということもなく、読者である。ファンである。という扱いなのだろうな。と考えて居ました。
また私は作家さん達は、とにかく無宗教でなければならないのだろうな。と考えて居ました。
よく分からないけれど、神様とかそういうのがいけない。とまた不機嫌に眉間に皺をよせてムスッと口も聞いてくれなさそうだ。と思って居ました。
違うそうです。
なので同じような人が世界中に無数にいると思うので、作家さんが他界した後、お葬式またはお別れ会に参加できない人達のことが、作家さん達も大変心配だろうと思い、色々と考えました。
追悼の式に掲げる御宗教についても、文筆界を見つめる社会の目は厳しいのだろうか？ と色々と心配事項がありますが、最終的に無宗教ということにして置くのが1番良いのではないかと思います。
御葬儀もお別れ会も、色々と生々しい人間模様が垣間見えて、辛い人は辛いし、それをジロジロ見に来る人もいそうです。
その上、先生ご愛用のペンや万年筆を見ると、もっともっと長生きをして欲しかったな、と読者の帰り道が、死んだ筈の先生の方が心配で仕方が無いと思います。
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私は、生前に先生ご自身が、そろそろ死にそうda NA⭐︎と判断された後、出版社の人と先生の個人事務所の人と弁護士事務所の方とで、
先生ご愛用のどの洋服にするかを決め、
どの御著書にするか選んで頂き、
その売り上げは最終的に、例えば先生のお名前を冠した基金に使うとか、御遺族にお送りするので利益にします、とだけ言うか決めて頂き、
読者のお一人お一人に、御遺品である、先生のお気に入りの服3着ほどの布地を、正方形に波型ピンキングハサミで切ったものを、追悼本に着けて販売して頂きたいんです。
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いわゆる形見分けになると思いますが、それ程の気持ちでおられるのだし、読者側も同じ気持ちなので、お別れ会に行くのも図々しいかも知れない、とか、そんなに沢山読んで居ないのでそもそも自分は読者と思って良いのだろうか？
という方も無数におられると思います。
私は実際に先生が腕を通した服が1番、読者の方が喜ぶと思います。
これからいつも一緒なのだと心強いと思います。
またいつか金に困った時も、早く古本屋さんに持って行って！と喜んで下さると思います。
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そういった故人を追悼するものは、ロケットに入れて普段使っても良いし、クローゼットのネクタイのところに掛けて置いても良いですよね。
実は、このようなジュエリーをマーニング・ジュエリーと呼ぶのだそうです。
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（Mourning jewelry）とは、喪に服す際や故人を偲ぶために身につける宝飾品の総称です。Google AIより
他に御遺灰、御遺髪、爪、骨の一部分をやはりロケットに入れて、マーニング・ジュエリーとするのだそうです。
ロケットに入れる場合、最近ではレジンで固めて入れるそうですが、琥珀を使うのが本来のやり方だそうです。
永遠の生命の保存： 琥珀は古代の樹液が化石化したものであり、時に太古の昆虫や植物を「当時の姿のまま完璧に保存」しています。この性質が、キリスト教の「魂の不死」や「肉体の復活」の希望と重ね合わされました。
「人魚の涙」「神の涙」： 欧州の伝承において、琥珀は涙が固まったものとされており、故人を悼む悲しみの涙を象徴するのにふさわしい素材とされました。
琥珀製のロケット： 琥珀をくり抜いたり、裏面をガラスや蓋付きの金属で仕上げたりして、中に遺髪を透かして見せるようなロケットペンダントが存在します。黄色〜蜂蜜色の温かみのある光は、「天国の光」や「故人の魂の輝き」を表現するものとして好まれました。Google AIより
最近では、メモリアル・ジュエリーとしてアマゾン等で販売されて居ます。
マーニング・ジュエリーのマーニング・Mourningは鎮魂という意味です。
私の住む日本では、メメントモリが同意味として言われて居ますが、それは間違いのようです。
メメントモリは警句で在り、「自分がいつか必ず死ぬことを忘れるな」という人生は限りがありますよ。という警告です。
マーニング・ジュエリーはモーニング・ジュエリーと長らく私の住む日本では呼ばれて居ましたが、本来はマーニングの発音の方が適切なので、マーニング・ジュエリーです。
マーニングの語源を検索すると
「マーニング」という言葉そのものはラテン語ではありません。
英語の姓（ラストネーム）や名として知られる Manning（マーニング） は、主に古ノルド語（サクソン系）や古英語、またはアイルランド語（ゲール語）に由来する名前です。
3. Manning（マーニング）本来の語源
人名の「Manning」の語源は、ラテン語圏ではなく以下の北欧・気質系が発祥です。古ノルド語（バイキングの言葉）: Manningi（勇敢な人、強い人）が由来。アイルランド（ゲール語）: Ó Mainnín（修道士の家系）が由来
Mourning jewelry ウィキペディア
https://w.wiki/UG36
マーニング・ジュエリーはメメントモリより先に存在していました。
修道院は喪に服す人々が祈る場所ですので、追悼と鎮魂のジュエリーです。
現代では技術が進み、遺骨や遺髪を琥珀風の樹脂（レジン）に封入してペンダントにする現代的なメモリアルアクセサリーも増えていますが、その根底には「故人を肌身離さず持ち歩き、いつか天国で再会する」というキリスト教圏の長い歴史と精神が受け継がれています。Mourning jewelry ウィキペディア
https://w.wiki/UG36
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| Photo by Joe from / Stock |
一人きりではありますが、洋風の葬儀が良いので、
誰気にすることも無く、死んだ後もクラシカルなお洒落をして棺に入り、杖が必要なのでそれも入れる予定です。
私は商業でやっていないのでそんな心配は無いのですが、もしそれ程までに強い読者が居た場合を考えたら、泣かれたく無いな、と思います。
どなたか泣いたとしても、ムードに流されて泣くぐらいなら特に問題はありませんが、ずっと深刻になって泣いておられたら、
その方がふと立ち上がり、はあ、とため息を吐かれながら手を洗っている後ろに立って、鏡にありありと映ってやろうと思います。
「！！」
「ーーーーーー。」
「・・・・サっ、サンドでーーっ！」
「1番嫌な洗面所OBKパターンで出て来ました。どしたの？なんでそんな泣くの？」
「だってエナメルさん、死んじゃって・・・、しくしくしくしく」
「 じゃあ人が死なないで済むよう具体的にどうしたら良いか考えてみてもらって良いですか？」
「本物だーー！ 洋風ですね死に装束。ハロウィンのですか？」
「うん結構安くて5千円だった。ーーー、じゃあ、泣かないでね。気まずいんで」
と限りなくエナメルな感じで帰ると思います。
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| Photo by Joe from / Stock |
前編アナウンス入りの楽曲劇のような構成で、全部のトラックがカアリィと呼ばれた、It Girl ・ イット・ガール、 街中の憧れの女の子が主人公のアルバムです。
カアリィは少し恋多き、誰にもそんなに本気にはなって居ない様に見える、それは綺麗でお洒落でセレブな女の子なのですが、やがてたった1人、とても好きな相手に巡り会ってしまいます。
そして最期は、カアリィは街から去ってしまいます。
カアリィという女の子が街から消えただけで、まるで何かキネマのようだったシーズンが終わってしまい、人々はカアリィは本当にあの男のことが好きだったんだね、という気持ちになっているみたいな曲の後、この"私が死んでも"という楽曲でアルバムは終わり、カアリィからの、本当はこんなことを考えて居ました。というアンサーが流れます。
何だか切ないけれど、さっぱりとクールでドライな感じのカアリィからの最期の挨拶のような楽曲です。
小西さんご本人は創っている時に寺山修司が降りて来た、と後にインタビューでおっしゃって居ました。
私は、この感じが実感としていつも自分の中にあります。
商業でやっておられるプロの作家さんやライターさんコラムの方々が、実際どう思われるかは分かりようも無いのですが、幾人かは同じだろうな、ともはっきり分かります。
「この世はすべて舞台、男も女もみな役者にすぎない」
"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players"
ウィリアム・シェイクスピア
人間は人生という大きなステージの上で、それぞれの役割を演じながら生きている存在であるという意味ウィキペディアより
シェイクスピアの劇のラストはいつもダンスなんだそうです。
恐らく小西康陽はこれを知った上で、楽曲劇集のカアリィに重ねたのだと思います。
私が死んでもを聴くと、まるで物語りの最後に全員出て来て、レビューショウをしている様です。
突然天国に帰天された場合は、皆、当然深い悲しみに沈みますが。
変な話ですが、ベッドか布団の上で帰天出来る儲けた最期の時間なのだったら、私もやはりこのような気持ちでいつも居るので、この楽曲を時々思い出しては暫く聴き、またその内聴かなくなるを繰り返して居ます。
” 何にもこの世には良いことなんて無かった貴方と逢ったこと たったそれだけ ”
このフレーズに差し掛かると、私はこの部分をどう歌うだろうか。と一瞬思いますが、いつも答えは一緒です。
"ドライに笑いながら、私は歌うだろう.
そんな自分で在り続けて本当に良かった、と思いながら."
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JackRose Screenshot From
CLASSIC & MIXOLOGY BAR DARK KNIGHT
/ Stock
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・
・
・
For some reason, I’ve long believed that literary writers probably don’t like their readers very much.
Since I’m not particularly interested in people’s backgrounds or personal lives, there isn’t any specific writer who prompted me to think this.
I just had this feeling that they probably don’t like their readers very much.
They’re surely prickly, surely demanding, and surely have absolutely no expectations of us ordinary people. So if they happen to exchange a few words with a reader, they’d have to suppress that sternness and interact calmly—which must be incredibly stressful for them.
The fact that we readers end up dwelling on every little detail of the author’s attitude and demeanor afterward might lead them to think, “If they’re aware of this, then that kind of weak-mindedness itself is no good,” and from there, they might start blaming modern education—and ultimately decide they simply don’t want to talk to readers anymore.
I used to think that if I ever actually ran into a professional author on the street, I’d have to be extremely careful.
But one night, even though I’m someone who doesn’t like to talk to people I don’t know very well, the author taught me that they cherish their readers very, very deeply.
It’s not just a matter of saying, “Thank you for your purchase.”
“I can’t give you love, but I cherish you so much that I want to be someone who walks alongside you for the rest of your life.”
That’s why they’re always worried about you.
That’s what I was taught.
Since I’m not particularly interested in people’s backgrounds or personal lives, there isn’t any specific writer who prompted me to think this.
I just had this feeling that they probably don’t like their readers very much.
They’re surely prickly, surely demanding, and surely have absolutely no expectations of us ordinary people. So if they happen to exchange a few words with a reader, they’d have to suppress that sternness and interact calmly—which must be incredibly stressful for them.
The fact that we readers end up dwelling on every little detail of the author’s attitude and demeanor afterward might lead them to think, “If they’re aware of this, then that kind of weak-mindedness itself is no good,” and from there, they might start blaming modern education—and ultimately decide they simply don’t want to talk to readers anymore.
I used to think that if I ever actually ran into a professional author on the street, I’d have to be extremely careful.
But one night, even though I’m someone who doesn’t like to talk to people I don’t know very well, the author taught me that they cherish their readers very, very deeply.
It’s not just a matter of saying, “Thank you for your purchase.”
“I can’t give you love, but I cherish you so much that I want to be someone who walks alongside you for the rest of your life.”
That’s why they’re always worried about you.
That’s what I was taught.
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I was incredibly surprised—so surprised, in fact, that even though about a year has passed, I’m still in shock. But apparently, that’s just how it is.
That’s how much I had come to believe that authors, writers, and columnists treat their readers as nothing special—just readers. Or fans.
I also used to think that authors, above all, must be non-religious.
I didn’t really understand why, but I imagined they’d frown disapprovingly, furrowing their brows, and refuse to even speak to me, as if saying, “God and things like that are off-limits.”
Apparently, that’s not the case.
Since I believe there are countless people like me all over the world, I thought about how writers must be very concerned about those who cannot attend their funerals or memorial services after they pass away, and I gave it a lot of thought.
I have various concerns—such as whether society’s gaze on the literary world is too harsh when it comes to the religious affiliation displayed at memorial services—but ultimately, I think it’s best to simply designate the event as non-religious.
At both funerals and memorial services, you get a glimpse of all sorts of raw human drama—it’s painful for those who are grieving, and there are bound to be people who come just to gawk.
On top of that, when readers see the pens and fountain pens the author used to love, I think they’ll feel, “I really wish they’d lived much, much longer,” and on their way home, they’ll be so worried about the author—who is supposed to be dead—that they won’t be able to stop thinking about it.
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decide which of the professor’s favorite garments to use,
ask him to select which of his books to include,
and state that the proceeds would ultimately be used, for example, to establish a fund in the professor’s name or sent to his surviving family as a benefit, and that’s all we would say or decide,
and I would like each and every reader to purchase a memorial book that includes, as part of the author’s legacy, fabric cut into squares with wavy pinking shears from about three of the author’s favorite garments.
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I think there are countless people who feel this way.
I actually think readers would be happiest to receive clothes that the author has actually worn.
It would be reassuring to know that they’ll always be with you from now on.
And if you ever find yourself short on cash again, I’m sure they’ll be happy to tell you, “Hurry up and take them to a used bookstore!”
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Actually, I’ve heard that this type of jewelry is called “mourning jewelry.”
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“Mourning jewelry” is a general term for jewelry worn during a period of mourning or to commemorate the deceased. From Google AI
I’ve heard that other items—such as ashes, locks of hair, fingernails, or fragments of bone—are also placed inside a locket to create memorial jewelry.
When placing these items in a locket, it’s said that resin is often used to encase them these days, but the traditional method is to use amber.
When placing these items in a locket, it’s said that resin is often used to encase them these days, but the traditional method is to use amber.
Preservation of Eternal Life: Amber is fossilized ancient tree sap that sometimes “perfectly preserves” prehistoric insects and plants “exactly as they were.” This characteristic has been associated with the Christian hopes for the “immortality of the soul” and the “resurrection of the body.”
“Mermaid’s Tears” and “God’s Tears”: In European folklore, amber is believed to be solidified tears, making it a fitting material to symbolize the tears of grief shed for the deceased.
Amber Lockets: There are locket pendants made of amber that have been hollowed out or finished on the back with glass or a lidded metal cover, allowing the hair of the deceased to be viewed through the amber. The warm, yellow to honey-colored glow was prized as a representation of “the light of heaven” or “the radiance of the deceased’s soul.” From Google AI
Recently, it has been sold on Amazon and other sites as memorial jewelry.
The “mourning” in “mourning jewelry” refers to the act of commemorating the deceased.
Here in Japan, where I live, “memento mori” is often used to convey the same meaning, but that seems to be incorrect.
“Memento mori” is a maxim—a warning that life is finite, reminding us, “Never forget that you will surely die one day.”
In Japan, where I live, “mourning jewelry” has long been called “mourning jewelry,” but since the pronunciation “mourning” is actually more accurate, the correct term is “mourning jewelry.”
When I looked up the etymology of “mourning,”
The “mourning” in “mourning jewelry” refers to the act of commemorating the deceased.
Here in Japan, where I live, “memento mori” is often used to convey the same meaning, but that seems to be incorrect.
“Memento mori” is a maxim—a warning that life is finite, reminding us, “Never forget that you will surely die one day.”
In Japan, where I live, “mourning jewelry” has long been called “mourning jewelry,” but since the pronunciation “mourning” is actually more accurate, the correct term is “mourning jewelry.”
When I looked up the etymology of “mourning,”
The word “Manning” itself is not Latin.Mourning jewelry predates memento mori.
“Manning,” known as an English surname or given name, is a name derived primarily from Old Norse (Saxon), Old English, or Irish (Gaelic).
3. The Original Etymology of “Manning”
The etymology of the personal name “Manning” does not originate from the Latin world but from the following Nordic and Celtic sources.
Old Norse (the language of the Vikings): Derived from “Manningi” (brave person, strong person).
Irish (Gaelic): Derived from “Ó Mainnín” (lineage of monks).
Mourning jewelry – Wikipedia
https://w.wiki/UG36
Since monasteries are places where those in mourning come to pray, this jewelry serves as a tribute to the deceased and a means of finding solace.
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| Photo by Joe from / Stock |
Personally, I don’t plan on having a funeral, so I intend to be placed in my coffin wearing an antique dress, a black hat that looks like a headset, and some black lace as my burial attire.
Even though I’ll be alone, I’d like a Western-style funeral,
so without worrying about anyone else, I plan to be placed in the coffin dressed in a classic, stylish outfit—and since I’ll need my cane, I’ll include that too.
Since I’m not doing this professionally, I don’t really have to worry about that, but if I were to imagine a reader who was that devoted, I’d rather they didn’t cry.
Even if someone does cry—if it’s just because they’re swept up in the mood, that’s fine—but if they were to get really serious and keep crying,
I’d suddenly stand up, stand behind them as they wash their hands with a heavy sigh, and make sure I’m clearly reflected in the mirror.
“!!”
“—————.”
“...S-Sand—!”
“You showed up with the number one worst bathroom OBK scenario. What’s wrong? Why are you crying so much?”
“But Enamel-san died... sniffle, sniffle, sniffle, sniffle.”
“So, could you please think of a specific way to prevent people from dying?”
“It’s the real thing!! The death outfit is Western-style. Is it for Halloween?”
“Yeah, it was pretty cheap—5,000 yen. ——, okay, don’t cry. It’s awkward.”
And I think I’d head home, acting as much like Enamel as possible.
The song “Even If I Die” is the final track on the album *Kaarii*, which Yasuharu Konishi created inspired by Karia Nomoto, an artist signed to his own label.
Structured like a musical drama with an introductory announcement in the first part, the album centers on a character named Kaarii—an “It Girl,” the object of everyone’s admiration on the streets.
Kaarii is a girl who has had her share of romances; she doesn’t seem to take anyone too seriously—she’s beautiful, stylish, and part of the celebrity scene—but eventually, she meets the one person she truly loves.
And in the end, Kaarii leaves the city.
Just as Kaarii disappears from the city, it feels as though a season—one that was almost like a movie—has come to an end. After a song that leaves listeners feeling, “So Kaarii really did love that guy,” the album concludes with this track, “Even If I Die,” which serves as Kaarii’s response, revealing what she was truly thinking all along.
It’s a song that feels like a final farewell from Kaarii—somewhat poignant, yet crisp, cool, and detached.
Mr. Konishi himself later mentioned in an interview that Shuji Terayama came to him while he was creating it.
I always feel this sensation deep within myself.
I have no way of knowing what professional authors, writers, and columnists working in the commercial world actually think, but I know for certain that some of them must feel the same way.
Even though I’ll be alone, I’d like a Western-style funeral,
so without worrying about anyone else, I plan to be placed in the coffin dressed in a classic, stylish outfit—and since I’ll need my cane, I’ll include that too.
Since I’m not doing this professionally, I don’t really have to worry about that, but if I were to imagine a reader who was that devoted, I’d rather they didn’t cry.
Even if someone does cry—if it’s just because they’re swept up in the mood, that’s fine—but if they were to get really serious and keep crying,
I’d suddenly stand up, stand behind them as they wash their hands with a heavy sigh, and make sure I’m clearly reflected in the mirror.
“!!”
“—————.”
“...S-Sand—!”
“You showed up with the number one worst bathroom OBK scenario. What’s wrong? Why are you crying so much?”
“But Enamel-san died... sniffle, sniffle, sniffle, sniffle.”
“So, could you please think of a specific way to prevent people from dying?”
“It’s the real thing!! The death outfit is Western-style. Is it for Halloween?”
“Yeah, it was pretty cheap—5,000 yen. ——, okay, don’t cry. It’s awkward.”
And I think I’d head home, acting as much like Enamel as possible.
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| Photo by Joe from / Stock |
Structured like a musical drama with an introductory announcement in the first part, the album centers on a character named Kaarii—an “It Girl,” the object of everyone’s admiration on the streets.
Kaarii is a girl who has had her share of romances; she doesn’t seem to take anyone too seriously—she’s beautiful, stylish, and part of the celebrity scene—but eventually, she meets the one person she truly loves.
And in the end, Kaarii leaves the city.
Just as Kaarii disappears from the city, it feels as though a season—one that was almost like a movie—has come to an end. After a song that leaves listeners feeling, “So Kaarii really did love that guy,” the album concludes with this track, “Even If I Die,” which serves as Kaarii’s response, revealing what she was truly thinking all along.
It’s a song that feels like a final farewell from Kaarii—somewhat poignant, yet crisp, cool, and detached.
Mr. Konishi himself later mentioned in an interview that Shuji Terayama came to him while he was creating it.
I always feel this sensation deep within myself.
I have no way of knowing what professional authors, writers, and columnists working in the commercial world actually think, but I know for certain that some of them must feel the same way.
“All the world’s a stage, and all men and women merely players.”
William Shakespeare
William Shakespeare
This means that human beings are beings who live their lives by playing their respective roles on the grand stage of life.From Wikipedia
I’ve heard that Shakespeare’s plays always end with a dance.
I suspect Yasuharu Konishi knew this when he incorporated it into the song cycle *Karii*.
When I listen to “Even If I Die,” it feels as if everyone has come out at the end of the story to perform a revue.
Of course, if I were to suddenly pass away and go to heaven, everyone would naturally be overcome with deep sorrow.
It may sound strange, but if I were to be so fortunate as to spend my final moments in bed or on a futon, I imagine I’d feel this way too. So, I find myself occasionally remembering this song, listening to it for a while, and then eventually stopping—only to repeat the cycle again later.
I suspect Yasuharu Konishi knew this when he incorporated it into the song cycle *Karii*.
When I listen to “Even If I Die,” it feels as if everyone has come out at the end of the story to perform a revue.
Of course, if I were to suddenly pass away and go to heaven, everyone would naturally be overcome with deep sorrow.
It may sound strange, but if I were to be so fortunate as to spend my final moments in bed or on a futon, I imagine I’d feel this way too. So, I find myself occasionally remembering this song, listening to it for a while, and then eventually stopping—only to repeat the cycle again later.
"Nothing in this world was ever good.
Meeting you—that was the only good thing."
Meeting you—that was the only good thing."
When I get to this phrase, I wonder for a moment, “How should I sing this part?” but the answer is always the same.
"With a dry laugh, I’ll sing.
Thinking to myself, I’m so glad I’ve stayed true to myself."
Thinking to myself, I’m so glad I’ve stayed true to myself."
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| Jack Rose |
JackRose Screenshot From
CLASSIC & MIXOLOGY BAR DARK KNIGHT
/ Stock
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| FABLE England https://www.fableengland.com/ja-jp |
Translated with DeepL.com (free version)
