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| Dnahyu |
（前略）
そんな彼女が前回メットガラに姿を見せたのは2022年のこと。ヴィヴィアン・ウエストウッドのピンクのドレスを纏っていた。
しかし、彼女はガラ会場を早々に退席。理由は「自分のルックが気に入らなかった」から。
「自分の衣装が気に入らなかったの。それもまたメンタルヘルスに関係すること。私は自分の仕事をきっちりやりたいし、ちゃんと現場に姿を見せたい。みんな私が来ることを楽しみにしてくれているのもわかってる。だけど実際は、『全然自信がない』『居心地が悪い』『ドレスがちゃんと合ってなかったらどうしよう』って思ってしまう。それに人とのおかしな比較を始めてしまって、それが本当に健康的じゃないのよ」
シザは結局、レニー・クラヴィッツがステージに立った瞬間、裏口からこっそり抜け出した。
「だって、不安でどうにかなりそうで、正面の階段を降りて出ては行けなかったから。タクシーを拾ったわ。3ブロックくらい裸足で歩いて。つま先立ちで何ブロックか進んで、イエローキャブ（タクシー）をつかまえてホテルに戻ったの。とにかく圧倒されてたから。不安過ぎて、写真を撮ったりしている群衆の前でタクシー待ちなんてしていられなかった。そんなことしたくなかった。だから、靴を持って、薄汚れたシンデレラみたいに逃げ出したのよ」
その気持ち、なんだかわかるような気がする。
Translation: Mitsuko Kanno From Cosmopolitan US
Harper's Bazaar 「メットガラはセレブにとってプレッシャー？グラミー歌手、シザが過去の切ない体験を告白 」
「自分の衣装が気に入らなかったの。それもまたメンタルヘルスに関係すること。私は自分の仕事をきっちりやりたいし、ちゃんと現場に姿を見せたい。みんな私が来ることを楽しみにしてくれているのもわかってる。だけど実際は、『全然自信がない』『居心地が悪い』『ドレスがちゃんと合ってなかったらどうしよう』って思ってしまう。それに人とのおかしな比較を始めてしまって、それが本当に健康的じゃないのよ」
シザは結局、レニー・クラヴィッツがステージに立った瞬間、裏口からこっそり抜け出した。
「だって、不安でどうにかなりそうで、正面の階段を降りて出ては行けなかったから。タクシーを拾ったわ。3ブロックくらい裸足で歩いて。つま先立ちで何ブロックか進んで、イエローキャブ（タクシー）をつかまえてホテルに戻ったの。とにかく圧倒されてたから。不安過ぎて、写真を撮ったりしている群衆の前でタクシー待ちなんてしていられなかった。そんなことしたくなかった。だから、靴を持って、薄汚れたシンデレラみたいに逃げ出したのよ」
その気持ち、なんだかわかるような気がする。
Translation: Mitsuko Kanno From Cosmopolitan US
Harper's Bazaar 「メットガラはセレブにとってプレッシャー？グラミー歌手、シザが過去の切ない体験を告白 」
20250506 18:01 配信より引用
"お母さんやお父さんだけが良いと思う服を着せないで欲しい"
これは後の人生に、強い歪みを持たらすことです。
だからこそ、私は、9歳で好きな自分を構築する服をショッピングモールの試着室前でセレクト出来ました。
その後、クリエイションを仕事にしたし、何かを選んだり、商品をセレクトする能力が、美術学校の基礎訓練を受けていないのにも関わらず、異常に高く、また早いのだそうです。
それで何度も、業務外にスタイリストをやって欲しいと言われたし、常にアート、ファッション、音楽が、日常で暮しの環境を維持する為に、必須なものになり過ぎてしまいました。
少しハードな話ですが。
私は、幼少期から家を出るまで、かなり良くない環境にいました。
幼少期から思春期まで、異常で膨大なデザインメッセージに囲まれ、衝撃を感性に与え続けられていました。
自分の感性を守る為に、直前でその衝撃を切断し、異常なデザインメッセージを即座に正しく健康的なものへと、訂正して受け取るセルフプロテクトが動いていたのだと思います。
おそらくこれでバランスを取っていたし、異常なデザインメッセージに取り囲まれ、衝撃を与え続けられる日常から離れられました。
おかげで攻撃から距離を取り続けられ、致命傷を負わないで居られたのだと思います。
2025年、今の私の部屋には、当時強要された異常なデザインメッセージに使われていた物が、一つもありません。
子供の時から私は、その環境内ではインテリアに対しても服装に対しても、意思表示をしませんでした。
身体が大きくなり始め、突き飛ばされる怖れが出てきたからでしょうね。
相手がそれ以上強要できなくなり始めた頃、あてがわれた部屋は用意された装飾品が全く無く、殺風景を通り越して独房そっくりでした。
その環境を良しとしていた理由は、おそらく生まれてからの異常体験から来る衝撃を、自分でリセットしていたのだと思います。
これに10年くらいかかっています。
2025年の私は、自身で過去を裁判せずに、選びようも無かった環境で受けていた攻撃を、出来事として整理できる年齢に来ています。
これに10年くらいかかっています。
2025年の私は、自身で過去を裁判せずに、選びようも無かった環境で受けていた攻撃を、出来事として整理できる年齢に来ています。
なので、これを書いてもフラットでいられます。
この異常デザインメッセージを受け続けるという体験、1つからでも、完全に離れるまで数十年かかっています。
異常デザインメッセージの強要は、それほどのことです。
暴力を超えている事です。
O.先生は美術の基礎訓練を履修されておられますし、私自身もクリエイションのプロとして訓練を受けていますので、相手に自覚があろうとなかろうと、それ以上超えてはならない、人を攻撃するデザインメッセージのラインが存在することを、私達は知っています。
生まれてから、相手を突き飛ばせる程大きくなるまで、私が取り囲まれていた異常デザインメッセージは、危険基準を大きく超えています。
洗濯物が乾かなかったり、経済的な理由で即、攻撃である、と判断するのは、単に迷惑なだけですが。
生まれてから、相手を突き飛ばせる程大きくなるまで、私が取り囲まれていた異常デザインメッセージは、危険基準を大きく超えています。
洗濯物が乾かなかったり、経済的な理由で即、攻撃である、と判断するのは、単に迷惑なだけですが。
今回投稿した私の体験は、明らかに異様な組み合わせの服を着続けている子供は、異常デザインメッセージから、強い衝撃を受け続けている日常にいるという、一例になると思います。
ファッションや服やインテリア等に、実はそこまで興味が無いのに、合わせたり選んだりするのが、私は上手い訳ですよね。（楽しいですけどね。）
3歳前から、デザインの異常メッセージを、正しいメッセージに訂正する訓練を、望みもしないのに自分でやっていたのですから。
ファッションや服やインテリア等に、実はそこまで興味が無いのに、合わせたり選んだりするのが、私は上手い訳ですよね。（楽しいですけどね。）
3歳前から、デザインの異常メッセージを、正しいメッセージに訂正する訓練を、望みもしないのに自分でやっていたのですから。
最近、O.先生に確認され、長年黙っていたことを口に出しました。
私は、どれを最高のお手本にすればいいのか、すぐ判断できます。
これはお手本では無いとも、即座に分かります。
3歳前から無理やり見せられていた異常な呪いを、自分で即座に無効化していたのですから。
3歳前から無理やり見せられていた異常な呪いを、自分で即座に無効化していたのですから。
けっこう衝撃的な話かもしれませんが。
これは感受性が強い人々へ向けた希望のセンテンスです。
時間がかかっても必ず離れられますし、完全に切り離せます。
自分が良いと思う、普段という感性の中で、穏やかに暮し、自分の人生を創っていけるという、一例です。
明るい雨が降っている、素敵な名前を持つ庭を眺めながら。
20250509 12:35 Enamel with Earl Grey.
20250510 18:07 文章を直しました。
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| Dnahyu |
(Prev.)
The last time she showed up at the Met Gala was in 2022. She was clad in a pink dress by Vivienne Westwood.
However, she left the gala venue early. The reason was that "I didn't like my look.
I didn't like my outfit," she said. It's also related to mental health. I want to do my job well and show up on site. I know people are looking forward to me coming. But in reality, I feel like, ‘I don't feel confident at all,’ 'I don't feel comfortable,' 'What if the dress doesn't fit me right? And I start making crazy comparisons with people, and that's really not healthy."
Siza eventually snuck out the back door just as Lenny Kravitz took the stage.
She said, "Because I was so anxious I couldn't go down the front steps and leave, because I was afraid I was going to get out of control. I got a cab, walked barefoot for about three blocks. I had to stand on my tiptoes for a few blocks, grab a yellow cab, and head back to the hotel. I was just overwhelmed. I was too anxious to wait for a cab in front of a crowd of people taking pictures. I didn't want to do that. So I grabbed my shoes and ran away like a dirty Cinderella.
I think I know how you feel.
Translation: Mitsuko Kanno From Cosmopolitan US
Harper's Bazaar "Is the Met Gala a pressure for celebrities? Grammy singer Siza confesses a painful experience from her past"
20250506 18:01
The last time she showed up at the Met Gala was in 2022. She was clad in a pink dress by Vivienne Westwood.
However, she left the gala venue early. The reason was that "I didn't like my look.
I didn't like my outfit," she said. It's also related to mental health. I want to do my job well and show up on site. I know people are looking forward to me coming. But in reality, I feel like, ‘I don't feel confident at all,’ 'I don't feel comfortable,' 'What if the dress doesn't fit me right? And I start making crazy comparisons with people, and that's really not healthy."
Siza eventually snuck out the back door just as Lenny Kravitz took the stage.
She said, "Because I was so anxious I couldn't go down the front steps and leave, because I was afraid I was going to get out of control. I got a cab, walked barefoot for about three blocks. I had to stand on my tiptoes for a few blocks, grab a yellow cab, and head back to the hotel. I was just overwhelmed. I was too anxious to wait for a cab in front of a crowd of people taking pictures. I didn't want to do that. So I grabbed my shoes and ran away like a dirty Cinderella.
I think I know how you feel.
Translation: Mitsuko Kanno From Cosmopolitan US
Harper's Bazaar "Is the Met Gala a pressure for celebrities? Grammy singer Siza confesses a painful experience from her past"
20250506 18:01
“I don't want you to wear clothes that only your mother or father thinks are good for you.”
This is something that will have a strong distortion later in life.
That is why I was able to select the clothes I liked to build myself at the age of 9 in front of the fitting rooms at the mall.
Later, I made creation my career, and my ability to pick something or select a product was unusually high and fast, despite the fact that I had no basic art school training.
So many times, I was asked to be a stylist outside of work, and art, fashion, and music always became too essential to maintain a living environment in my daily life.
It's a bit of a hard story.
I was in a pretty bad environment from my childhood until I left home.
From childhood to adolescence, I was surrounded by an abnormal and enormous amount of design messages that continued to shock my sensibilities.
I think my self-protection was working to protect my senses, cutting off the shock just before it happened, and immediately correcting and receiving the abnormal design messages into something correct and healthy.
Perhaps this kept me balanced and away from the daily routine of being surrounded and continually shocked by abnormal design messages.
I think this allowed me to keep my distance from the attacks and not be fatally wounded.
In 2025, there is not a single object in my room today that was used to the unusual design messages that were forced upon me at the time.
Since I was a child, I did not express my intentions for the interior or for my clothing within that environment.
I guess it was because I started to get bigger and I was afraid of being pushed away.
When they began to not be able to force me any more, the room they assigned to me was completely devoid of any prepared decorations, and it was beyond bleak and resembled a solitary confinement cell.
The reason why I thought that environment was good was probably because I was resetting myself from the shock that came from the abnormal experiences I had had since birth.
This took about 10 years.
In 2025, I am at an age where I can sort out the attacks that I was subjected to in an environment that I had no choice but to choose, without having to judge the past myself.
So I can write this and remain flat.
The experience of continuing to receive this abnormal design message, even from one, has taken decades to leave completely.
The coercion of the abnormal design message is so much more than that.
It is a thing beyond violence.
Since Dr. O. has taken basic art training and I myself have been trained as a creation professional, we know that there is a line of design message that attacks people that must not be crossed any further, whether the other person is aware of it or not.
From the time I was born until I was big enough to push the other person away, the abnormal design messages I was surrounded by far exceeded the danger standard.
It is simply annoying, though, to judge that it is an immediate attack, for reasons such as lack of dry laundry or economic reasons.
I think my experience, which I have posted here, is an example of how a child who continues to wear an obviously bizarre combination of clothes is in a daily routine that continues to receive strong shocks from the abnormal design message.
I'm actually not that interested in fashion, clothing, interior design, etc., but I'm good at matching and choosing, right? （I'm good at matching and choosing, even though I'm not that interested in fashion, clothes, interior design, etc.)
I have been training myself to correct anomalous messages in design to the correct message since before I was 3 years old, even though I didn't want to.
Recently, Dr. O. confirmed it, and I spoke up about it, something I had kept quiet about for years.
I can quickly determine which is the best example to follow.
I also know instantly that this is not a role model.
I immediately know that this is not a role model, because I had instantly nullified for myself the abnormal curses that I had been forced to watch since before I was three years old.
Since I was a child, I did not express my intentions for the interior or for my clothing within that environment.
I guess it was because I started to get bigger and I was afraid of being pushed away.
When they began to not be able to force me any more, the room they assigned to me was completely devoid of any prepared decorations, and it was beyond bleak and resembled a solitary confinement cell.
The reason why I thought that environment was good was probably because I was resetting myself from the shock that came from the abnormal experiences I had had since birth.
This took about 10 years.
In 2025, I am at an age where I can sort out the attacks that I was subjected to in an environment that I had no choice but to choose, without having to judge the past myself.
So I can write this and remain flat.
The experience of continuing to receive this abnormal design message, even from one, has taken decades to leave completely.
The coercion of the abnormal design message is so much more than that.
It is a thing beyond violence.
Since Dr. O. has taken basic art training and I myself have been trained as a creation professional, we know that there is a line of design message that attacks people that must not be crossed any further, whether the other person is aware of it or not.
From the time I was born until I was big enough to push the other person away, the abnormal design messages I was surrounded by far exceeded the danger standard.
It is simply annoying, though, to judge that it is an immediate attack, for reasons such as lack of dry laundry or economic reasons.
I think my experience, which I have posted here, is an example of how a child who continues to wear an obviously bizarre combination of clothes is in a daily routine that continues to receive strong shocks from the abnormal design message.
I'm actually not that interested in fashion, clothing, interior design, etc., but I'm good at matching and choosing, right? （I'm good at matching and choosing, even though I'm not that interested in fashion, clothes, interior design, etc.)
I have been training myself to correct anomalous messages in design to the correct message since before I was 3 years old, even though I didn't want to.
Recently, Dr. O. confirmed it, and I spoke up about it, something I had kept quiet about for years.
I can quickly determine which is the best example to follow.
I also know instantly that this is not a role model.
I immediately know that this is not a role model, because I had instantly nullified for myself the abnormal curses that I had been forced to watch since before I was three years old.
This may sound quite shocking.
This is a sentent of hope for susceptible people.
You can always leave, even if it takes time, and you can detach completely.
This is an example of how you can live peacefully and create your own life within the sensibility of what you think is good and normal.
Bright rain is falling, looking at the garden with a beautiful name.
20250509 12:35 Enamel with Earl Grey.
0250510 18:07 I fixed the sentence.
